Letting Go Of The Past

I think one of the biggest problems that people have, including myself, is that we get “stuck in our ways”. I’m talking about more than just bad habits. We also have certain mindsets and worldviews that we’ve developed over years of conditioning and influence from outside sources like our parents, schools, the media, ect. Our perspective of life is largely a result of our past experiences, drawing from everything that we’ve seen and learned so far to formulate opinions and beliefs about what is possible.

Unfortunately, many of these opinions and beliefs can be limiting to us and prevent us from reaching our full potential. For example, if you grew up in the ghetto of South Central LA where more people were getting into drugs and gangs than getting into college, you would probably not think that your destiny would be much different. Being immersed in that environment would have a negative psychological effect that distracts your focus from seeing beyond the confines of the ghetto. On a larger scale, since there has never been a female president, most girls are part of a collective consciousness that thinks it’s impossible to become president. It was the same situation for African Americans until Barak Obama and now an entire nation’s mentality and belief of what’s possible is beginning to change.

One of my favorite quotes is “The past does not equal the future”. No matter what has happened previously in your life, do not let it limit the person that you are today and the actions that you take to create your destiny. We have the power to choose who we are in each and every moment. We can recreate ourselves and shed the weight of any negative characteristics that we’ve developed over time. It just takes an awareness of what those unwanted characteristics are, what we want to replace them with and a little bit of effort each day to make those changes.

So what limiting beliefs from your past are preventing you from being the person you really want to be and living the life you really want to live? Do you have something about your self that you say “oh that’s just the way I am, that’s the way I was brought up”? Don’t blame it on your parents or your neighborhood or your school. Take responsibility for you own life and start designing it how you want it to be. The possibilities are endless, you just need to identify what’s holding you back and choose to let it go.

For Better or Worse

I recently had the great pleasure of officiating a wedding. When my friend called me and asked me to do it I immediately accepted the offer with great enthusiasm, feeling honored that they would think of me for the job. And I was totally excited about doing it. . . right up until I arrived at the wedding and realized what I had gotten myself into.

I was about to marry these people! This was one of the most special moments in their lives and I was placed right at the center of it, juggling the power to make it a great experience or totally mess it up. What if I forgot what I was going to say? What if I slurred my words or dropped the microphone? All of the possibilities of how I could completely ruin this ceremony ran through my head and I got nervous.

Whatever you focus on is bound to come true. It’s the Law of Attraction, the universal principle of manifestation. Wherever you direct your thoughts is where you’re going to put your energy and bring what you’re focusing on to life. When you think about negative things, negative things are going to show up.

Fortunately we are able to control our thoughts and can steer them in the right direction. It is difficult at first because most people spend their lives letting their emotions control their thoughts, rather than the other way around, but as you become aware of this power and start to practice controlling them you will soon develop enough mental strength to steer clear of negative thought patterns.

I noticed myself falling into this downward spiral of self-doubt and worry so I quickly changed my thoughts and moved them in a different direction. A wedding is supposed to be FUN so that’s what I focused on. I visualized how happy and excited the bride and groom would be up there, I saw their smiles and thought about the great celebration we would have afterwards. I filled myself up with such great thoughts and emotions that by the time I went up there to seal the deal I was buzzing with energy and ready to rock and roll.

And rock and roll we did! Everything went perfectly and I had the wonderful privilege of sharing in that special moment. So if you ever find yourself entering a situation with nervousness, anxiety or doubt, remember that it’s entirely in your power to change those feelings into ones that will better serve you. You just need to change what you’re focusing on! 

Driving Forces

What is your driving force? What gets you out of bed every morning and fuels you throughout the day? Each of us has some sort of goal we are reaching for everyday, whether it’s to save the world or simply to pay the bills. We all have something that keeps us going and pushes us to carry on down the twisting road of life.

Unfortunately in our society that driving force is often a selfish agenda, most commonly money and power. We want the big house, the new car and the high-paying job that makes all of our friends jealous. We want to be recognized and admired by our community for doing something amazing that no one else thought of or worked hard enough to accomplish. So much of what we do is motivated by our desire to better our own lives and “get to the next level”, creating the best lifestyle we possibly can before our time runs out.

And fair enough, significance is one of our basic human needs and we all want nice things. But I believe that once you find a driving force that is outside of yourself you will experience a whole new kind of supercharged motivation that isn’t possible when it’s only about you. It’s a different kind of drive when you’re working hard to make money so you can provide for your children or buy a house for your mom. And it’s a different kind of drive when you’re starting a nonprofit because you really care for those you’re helping rather than your own resume and inner craving to feel “accomplished”. It’s a fine line but it changes the kind of energy that you put into all the hard work you do everyday, and that energy is more powerful when it’s not just going in circles around your own personal sphere.

So what is your driving force? Who are you fighting for everyday? If it’s only for yourself then that’s going to be one long and lonely battle. But if you can find that person or cause that gives you a new reason to wake up in the morning then I guarantee you will discover a strength inside yourself that’s enough to win the entire war.

Matching Paces

I used to think that the perfect girl was somewhere out there in the world waiting for me. She would have amazing characteristics in every aspect of her life and embody excellence in all she did. Every dimension of her wellness would be at its peak potential. But I also knew that if I were to have any chance of attracting this perfect girl to me, I would have to be at a similar state of excellence in my own life. I too would have to reach this heightened stage of brilliance and I had a firm image of the person that I would have to become in order to be at that same level.
            
So I spent some time attempting to get there. I thought that there was a finite point that I could eventually reach where I would be at my absolute best in all areas of my life. And then, only then, would I be able to attract this perfect girl.
            
It took me some years to realize that I had it all wrong though. There is no finite point that you can reach. We as humans are constantly evolving each and every day, whether consciously or unconsciously, and we will continue to until that day that we die. Being aware of this evolution and putting our time and energy into the process will allow us to grow at a faster pace and to greater heights. So what is ultimately important is not that we reach a certain point of growth and find someone that is at an equal level with us. Instead, we need to find someone that is growing at the same rate as us so that you can continue your evolution together!

That perfect girl was out there waiting for me, but I did not have to become the perfect guy I had created in my head in order to attract her. I just had to cross paths with someone that was moving at the same pace as me and extend an invitation to team up for the journey. So keep your eyes open! That perfect person you’ve be been waiting for might not be way up ahead, waiting for you to catch up. They’re probably right next to you, cruising through life at the same speed as you are just a few roads down.